She Wants to Look At Jesus
Original post at drewandmorgan.com
We got engaged two days ago. Yesterday we could hardly stop talking about wedding stuff, so we logged onto “The Knot” to take a peak at what all there is to do for a wedding. For those of you who don’t know, “The Knot” is a wedding planning website. It has tons of resources and information as well as a nifty little thing that you put in your date and your budget and it will spit out a timeline checklist and a prospective budget.
Checklists are compelling things. I make them all the time and absolutely love checking stuff off of them. Morgan and I were a bit overwhelmed to see that we had 247 items on our to-do list and 0 on our completed list. So, of course, we tackled them headfirst and started working through them at lightning speed.
We we got to the one about creating a wedding website, I got wonderfully excited because that’s my thing. So we started looking at various templates for the website. We looked at hosting our site on “The Knot” and we also discovered “MyWedding.” Long story short, after looking through about 59 different templates and agreeing on pretty much none of them we finally settled on one. But with all of that disagreement were were so disheartened. Was our relationship falling apart? Do we really love each other? Well, the answers are No and Yes, respectively. But we weren’t sure about that at the time.
Finally, after taking a break for a day we scratched all of the hours of work (and disagreeing) that we had done looking through websites and we created this one. It was pretty simple and painless. We quickly found one that we liked and got to work making it happen. It’s incredible how fast you can buy a domain, set up a website, and get it functioning. Because only a few hours later, here it is!
But that’s not what I want to talk about. What I really want to say is this. After our night of website hunting and disagreement and weariness over a stupid website Morgan said this, “Drew, I need to stop doing this. We need to set this down. I’m trying to keep my heart in the right place. I got engaged last night and haven’t been able to be alone since then. I just need to spend time with Jesus.“
This is the girl I’m engaged to. This is the woman I’m going to marry. She wants to look at Jesus, not at wedding websites. That’s how I know she’s the one.
The Sap of Life
In finding the picture for this post I learned that the way you get sap from a tree (called “tapping” the tree) is literally as simple as sticking a spigot into the side of the tree and letting the sap flow out. That made me start thinking — if someone stuck a spigot in me, what would flow out?
Lately I’ve been living in some deadening complacency. I’ve had an apathy about everything that I do. I feel like I’ve lost the joy and vigor of life. I’ve been thinking about that scripture that talks about how the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I feel like the excitement and joy of life has been stolen from me. It’s not that I’m experiencing death, it’s just that I’m not experiencing life. I feel like I’ve hardly been living.
I doubt trees think about their sap very much. It just kind of flows in and through them and gives them life. Kind of like our blood. I know I don’t sit around thinking much about blood until I bleed (or the other day when I bit down too hard and got to taste blood along with my cookie…). I’ve always been more aware of life when the stuff of the world has made me bleed. But lately, I’ve been too comfortable. I seem to have forgotten about all the wonderful things in life that keep me alive. I’ve taken them for granted.
Community
One of my friends recently told me a story about how a classmate dropped by her home to pick up a book from her. He was baffled when he came by because he found a few people there just hanging out.
“Those people are just hanging out at your house?” he said.
“Yeah,” she said, “they’re my friends.”
After giving him the book she left her house. As she walked out with him he asked, “So, they’re going to stay at your house hanging out even while you’re not there?”
“Yeah,” she said.
This is the culture of community that my friends and I share. We come and go from each others homes. We stop by to see each other and sometimes end up staying for a few hours to talk and enjoy one another. I guess this classmate was baffled by this kind of open community. But it’s something that we simply take for granted. I am so incredibly thankful for community. For my community. For the rich and open community that gives me life.
Instruction and Submission
The other day I was talking with Morgan about the rest of the semester. She is done with classes. The rest of her semester is simply a preceptorship (the nurse version of student teaching). Because of this preceptorship she was possibly going to have to pull out of our small group and mid-week worship gathering. The question popped into my mind, “Then what will you have guiding you?” And that’s when it dawned on me. I am so blessed to be in so many circles where I am guided, instructed, and submitted.
In school I’m in bible classes. In church I have our Lifegroup, College Park (our mid-week college gathering), and regular Sunday morning services. Then there are the meetings I have through the week with various friends to be accountable to each other, to challenge each other, to carry each other, and to love each other.
All of these are places where I can submit myself so that I can receive from them. I am so blessed to have so much instruction and so many guides in my life. This is another one of those things that I have just taken for granted. But these places guide my thoughts, direct my heart, enrich my soul, and give me life.
Scripture
Being a bible major has oversaturated me with scripture. The scriptures are in my classes. They are in the music I listen to. They are read in the various gathering I participate in throughout the week. I read them in the mornings. And on and on and on. The bible is all over the place in my life.
Lately when I’ve gone to the Scriptures I have simply approached them as another thing to do. Another project to be completed. It has stripped them of their life and their goodness. How incredible it is to be able to read these words that are living and active!
These words are not merely words. They are not just another thing I have to think really hard about or write about. They are life giving! I have taken for granted these words of life. I have dismissed them. I have considered them work, rather than rest.
The law of the Lord is perfect,
reviving the soul…
The precepts of the Lord are right,
rejoicing the heart…
They are sweeter than honey.
(Psalm 19:7, 8, 10)
The scriptures revive the soul, rejoice the heart, delight the taste. O how I want to know them like this again! O how I long to receive life from the words of the Holy Scriptures; to sit under its endless flow and be refreshed by its wisdom, instruction, and testimony! I have forgotten the beauty of scripture and, like the proverbial sluggard, I have too often put my hand into the dish but not eaten my fill.
Communion With God
Yesterday morning I woke up with Psalm 84 ringing in my head. I picked up my bible and the commentary said, “The purpose of singing this psalm is to cultivate delight, to open the eyes and hearts of God’s people to the staggering privilege of being a welcome guest in God’s own house.” As I read this I asked for God to put in me the kind of delight and longing that this psalm spoke of.
I pray quite often, but it is too often dead and rote. I speak into the air and hope God might hear me. My time with God has been dry and dead. But the psalmist writes that his soul faints for God and his heart and flesh sing for joy. To faint is to be overcome. Communion with God is not a dry or a dead experience. It is being overcome with the presence of God!
—
I’ve found that life is best lived and enjoyed when beauties and graces are appreciated. The heart in a place of thanksgiving is a heart that beats. Blood flows through the body and I’m suddenly aware of the life that’s in me.
As you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. (Colossians 2:6-7)
A Psalm of Thanksgiving
I’m in a Bible class this semester called Wisdom and Devotional Literature of the Old Testament. In it we have been discussing the book of psalms and various types of psalms and on and on. It has been wonderful and life-giving. After finishing all of this we had an assignment to compose our own psalm in the style of the psalms that we were reading. I wrote one and would love to share it with you. It is a psalm of thanksgiving.
The Lord Blesses His People
The Lord pours out his blessing on his people
he does not hold back!
His favor is like the warmth of the morning;
my doubt like the clouds that fade.
Come stand under his fountain of blessing!
His grace is a river; we drink and are refreshed.
It will never run dry; we drink and are made new!
When I relied on my strength I was tired and weary.
When I relied on my strength all endeavors failed.
But his faithfulness never ceases!
He does not give up!
No! His love endures!
He will not turn away.
When I set down my tools he blessed my rest
When I picked them back up his Spirit drew near.
I will rest in the Lord and work by his Spirit
I will receive his grace and pour out my praise
The Lord blesses his people
he does not hold back!
Soak in the Psalms
I have lately sought refuge in the Psalms. You may be familiar with Augustine’s Confessions. The Psalms are the confessions of the Bible. They are incredibly honest about doubt, pain, and fear, yet never give up hope. Psalms are proof that doubt is not at odds with faith.
When you are sick with a cold you might have a glass of water and a tylenol before bed. I have a dear relative whose prescription for a sick heart is a glass of water and a psalm before bed. I’ve always remembered those words of hers.
This morning the fuel for my heart has been Psalm 77. I remember reading it for the first time many years ago. I remember how it first graced my heart then. This morning it sank in even deeper. Every word from this psalm rings true in my soul this morning. I want to share it with you. Yes, the words can be found at the link below, but I encourage you to open up your own Bible, stand, and read this aloud. That is how this psalm was meant to be encountered. Let these words sink into your being. Soak them up with your heart and soul.
There is so much to be found there. I would love to just sit and swap words with each of you over coffee about the goodness of God found in this psalm. But since at the moment we are only on a blog, I invite you to listen to the words that John Piper has to share from this psalm. I am so thankful for the poetry of his preaching, exhortation, and humble witness. These words were an encouragement to me today.
I Will Meditate on All Your Work and Muse on Your Deeds (click here for manuscript)
by John Piper – January 2, 2000
Mythologos
School is back in swing. Actually, it has been for awhile. That’s one of the main reasons you haven’t heard form me on here for quite some time. I feel like I’m just barely getting into a rhythm for this semester. All that I know is that the weather is changing (and allergies are starting). This probably means that sooner or later you’ll be seeing my yearly fall post. But I’m not going to force it. I just think it’ll probably happen as always.
But all of that isn’t the reason I’m writing this post. I’m writing this post to tell you all about another blog project I’m working on. It’s actually an assignment for one of my classes. I’m currently in a class called Literature and Belief. In this class we are focusing on mythology and the ways that it has expressed and shaped the beliefs of people through the course of history. We’re going all the way from reading Theogony (the Greek creation stories by Hesiod) to reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Needless to say, we’re covering a lot this semester.
The project that I am doing is a blog where I will discuss the things we are learning in this class. I will explore the meaning of myth and search for modern day myths and how they shape us. I could write so much more here about what the blog will be, but that’s what the blog is for. You can start by reading the about section. I hope to see you there.
mythologos.wordpress.com
The Story of God
Gospel-centered theology isn’t always good theology.
When the gospel is a formula plugged into the equation of salvation it reads like condemnation to the ones who haven’t done their math.
When the gospel is a story about the heart of God it reads like an invitation to those who haven’t known the love of their Father.
The gospel is not an equation in which a big equal sign is wedged between us and heaven. It is the story of heaven breaking into our world and God’s kingdom coming to this place. It is a picture of the heart of God.
He died for you.
His kingdom is near.
He’s welcoming you.
He’s beckoning you.
“Come.”
The Awe of God and Adventure of the Kingdom
This summer I read Knowledge of the Holy by A. W. Tozer. If you haven’t read it you must. Once you finish it go ahead and read everything else by Tozer too. His words are rich. Every sentence in his writings drip with truth, depth, and beauty.
But that’s not the point. The point is that as I read this book over the summer I have come to realize the complete otherness of God. Tozer begins with the question, “What is God like?,” and then says:
This book is an attempt to answer that question. Yet at the outset I must acknowledge that it cannot be answered except to say that God is not like anything; that is, He is not exactly like anything or anybody.
In other words, God is totally and entirely other.
That is in chapter two. Every chapter that follows explores this otherness of God. It is on this truth that my heart and mind have dwelt this summer.
—
At the beginning of June I heard from one of the guys in the youth group I interned at last summer. He had come to Kadesh, the high school camp at ACU. In short, his life was being rocked by Jesus through the camp. This was incredible and exciting news to me because I remember getting to know him last summer. I could see a total transformation in him. His heart had been taken captive by Jesus Christ.
I remember going to Kadesh myself. It is an incredible place. Life transformation happens there. Not because summer camps are the answer to everything, but because it is a place that is devoted to seeking Jesus and serving others. The camp is entirely outward focused. Because of this the dirt and filth of life come spilling out and the love of Jesus takes its place. Kadesh has multiple times of corporate worship, teaching, and small group discussion. The campers pour themselves out in service projects throughout Abilene every day. And every night concludes with a time of worship in the amphitheater at ACU. Outside, under the stars, singing praises to God. It is truly beautiful. And God meets people there.
I came to find out that on the last day of camp this guy was going to be baptized. He had decided to follow Jesus in baptism and commit his life to following Christ. I decided to go. I met him and his small group at Jacob’s Dream where he would be baptized. There was excitement among them as they approached the pool, as he got in, made his confession, and was baptized. This was a sign of newness.
After the baptism the group went to the amphitheater for the evening worship. I joined them for it. Small groups slowly accumulated in the amphitheater. Worship began as the sun went down. Songs were raised high along with hands of praise to God. I looked around and saw a couple hundred teenagers experiencing the God of the universe. It was beautiful. I was reminded of my time in the very same place only a few years ago. What struck me through all of this is that this moment, for some of these teenagers, was their very first time to really experience the Lord. I was observing not only a fresh outpouring of the Holy Spirit but, for many of these teenagers, an initial outpouring. It was unspeakably beautiful.
I saw how new, how fresh, and how awesome the Lord was to these kids who were seeing him for the first time and I began to realize how old and boring my faith had become. It is so easy to become familiar and comfortable in our faith that we lose an awe of God. What a sad thing the human heart is, that it could grow weary of the eternal God.
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As many of you know, I went to Africa this summer. There are many stories to be told and testimonies to be shared. But from all of those experiences, I returned from Africa with a broader vision of the Kingdom of God.
After returning I was thinking of all the places I’ve been: Honduras, Mexico, Africa…and on and on. But then I stopped and realized how shallow I was thinking. I’ve been to Africa: check! Really? In reality, I’ve been to a country in Africa: Uganda. And really, I’ve been to a city in a country in Africa: Gulu. And really, I’ve only been to a side of a city in a country in Africa—perhaps I shouldn’t be so hasty to just check Africa off the list.
As I was going through all of this I began to think of the Kingdom of God. You know, I thought, it’s the same in the Kingdom. I so easily become comfortable with my citizenship in heaven. I think to myself, I’ve lived in the Kingdom for quite some time now. Surely I know the Kingdom of God. But in reality the Kingdom of God is no different than Africa. I have seen only a portion of his Kingdom. I have dwelt in only a minute corner of his Eternal Land. The Kingdom of God is so much broader than I’ve seen or experienced. There is so much more of God’s character to know and to see. He is eternal and his Kingdom is infinite. I will forever continue to explore the beauty of his Kingdom. It is a journey. It is an adventure. And God will walk with me hand in hand every step of the way, showing me more and more of his beautiful Kingdom. This is life.
—
We so easily become comfortable with our familiar corner of the Kingdom that we miss the adventure. We so quickly become bored with our faith that we lose an awe of God. Let our hearts not grow weary, but remain enthralled in the beauty of the God who made the heavens and the earth! The moment your heart becomes bored in the familiarity of God you must remember how entirely other he is. He is not like us that he grows old.
He is eternal and his Kingdom is infinite. Always fresh. Always new. Always incredible. Always inspiring.
Go Play
When I was in high school I lived elsewhere. I don’t mean that I lived somewhere other than where I live now. I mean that I lived wherever I wasn’t. I was constantly dreaming of and dwelling in the future. I often thought of other places, almost in every area of life.
With church, I always listened to podcasts and read books by others. I felt like my church wasn’t real because I devoted myself to these other churches. With ministry, I started my own online bible studies instead of simply devoting myself to the church where I was. With romance, I dreamed of marriage. I know that seems odd, for a dude to be dreaming of marriage. But I really was. I began thinking of it early on in high school. I was silly because instead of devoting myself to the one woman who would someday be my wife I dated a bunch of girls in hopes of finding her. It is foolish to become romantically entangled with so many. With school, I dreamed of college. I was bored with my classes in high school and couldn’t wait for the day when I would study the things I wanted to. With location, I dreamed of Abilene. With life, I dreamed of leaving my home and creating a home for myself.
I always lived elsewhere. I was never present. I used my phone so much because I could never enjoy the place where I was. I had to text someone who was somewhere else. This is who I was. This is where I dwelt.
When I came to Abilene and began going to Beltway, I remember thinking, “Wow, this is a real church!” What a prideful thought (and I don’t mean to demean the churches I went to growing up), but it was a breakthrough at the time. And, while I began to become present in the reality of church, I was still dreaming of everything else. That first year here I was in a long distance relationship and so much of me lived in the vacuum of late-night phone calls and I devoted myself to dreaming of the next year when she would come to Abilene to join me. This became the foundation of our relationship. And because the foundation of our relationship was only hope for the future, it fell apart when she actually came. We didn’t know how to be present.
After that break up I began living in the present.
—
A few weeks ago there was a gathering at someone’s house to hear from Carl Gulley, the college pastor of Antioch Community Church. This guy and this church have shaped Beltway’s college ministry like no one else. I was so blessed to be there to hear and learn from him. But while I was there I began looking around and realized just how blessed I really am. I was sitting in this room with some truly incredible people who I have learned much from and come to love. Jeremy West, Byron Rogers, Phil Dosa, Lucas West, Joey Ellmore, Matt Davis, Eric Presley…just to name a few. These men, either directly or indirectly, have challenged me, taught me, mentored me, discipled me, and encouraged me.
As I was looking around at these men, I began to realize again, “This is real.” That reality began to sink in. So often we dream of doing church, we dream of wonderful friends, we dream of incredible mentors — but I was able to look around and say, “It’s happening. This stuff is really happening.” We think of Paul who discipled Timothy and fantasize what that would be like. We think of John who pastored a church and dream of the future. But I was able to look around and tangibly see, These are the ones who have dscipled me. These are the ones who are doing life and ministry together. This isn’t just some kind of dream. This is real. This is the present!
I realize that this blog entry is poorly organized and somewhat haphazard. But I simply had to write it as a means of declaring how thankful I am to walk along such incredible people to learn from them and share this pocket of life with them. And secondly, I want to encourage you to live in the present. Don’t dream of your destiny — DO it! Don’t wish you were somewhere — GO there! Don’t imagine the perfect world and then complain about how the present doesn’t measure up. Take those dreams and make them reality. Take those wishes and carry them out.
Don’t just sit there looking out the window. Go play.
Seeing and Abiding
The words “sermon” and “preaching” kind of scare me. But, last night I had the opportunity to contribute to the sermon series we’ve been running through this summer in College Park. We’ve been in 1 John all summer and I got to preach 2:28-3:10. When I found out that I would be preaching this text I became very excited because its about my favorite thing ever: seeing Jesus.
Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:2)
As I began reading the text, praying, researching, and reflecting God began to show me pieces of himself which I had never come to consider before. The past two blog entries have actually resulted from my preparation for this sermon. I’ve been sitting on this and praying through it all summer and I finally got to preach last night.
After preaching, I was able to talk with several people who told me that the words I spoke connected directly with where they were or even with something they were praying about that morning. How humbling it is to serve the most high God! I am so thankful to God for the way he moves in the hearts of people. He is faithful. I’m so thankful for how in a moment he changes eternity. I’m thankful for the hearts that were set upon him last night.
You can listen to the sermon here:
Time’s Shadow
“He has made everything beautiful in its time.
And he has planted eternity into the heart of man.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:11)
My love has grown stale as of late. Time stretches us out and we so easily become weary.
Life is a river. My Dad and I used to go canoeing a lot when I was growing up. Anyone who has been canoeing will understand when I say that it is a thrilling and boring adventure. How could that be? Even one day on the river lends itself to a pendulum of excitement and boredom. The paddling begins as a refreshing exercise. The first mile of the river is a beautiful and breathtaking trail through the trees. Then it becomes stale. The same act which was once refreshing becomes tiresome. What was beautiful before is now boring. Then the rapids come, your heart begins to race, and the thrill rushes back in. But a little later the river becomes quiet and still which is peaceful at first but then returns to boredom. This is life.
I have lately been in a lull of life. The romantic adventure that life once was has become routine as it drags on. I need refreshing. Not that our primary pursuit is romance. I know that romance is, by its very nature, a momentary thing. Love carries on through on through the dry season, but those sprinkles of romance add flavor to life.
This has gotten me thinking, though. Some say that romance is a deception. Others that it is everything. Perhaps neither is true. Perhaps romance is not a fleeting thing, but rather a refreshing form and flavor of love. Perhaps romance is a taste of eternity. Moments of romance seem to stretch beyond the miniscule minutes in which they occur. Whether they be wandering through a forest, standing before a mountain, or resting in the arms of your beloved. These moments are more than momentary.
The romantic moments of adventure grow old to us, though, because we are locked in time. We are captive to the clock that ticks on by and makes new things grow old. We become weary of our lives and the newness of it all wears away.
But God is not captive to time. Time is entirely irrelevant to him. God never grows tired or weary. His love never grows stale. He is eternal! That we should ever become bored with an eternal God shows just how easily we become comfortable sitting in the same place. Familiarity kills the newness of life. Yet, nothing is unfamiliar to the Lord. But nothing is boring to him either, because the Lord possesses the power to recreate. He alone makes old things new. He alone makes plain things beautiful.
For now we sit in time’s shadow with an occasional ray of eternal light. But God is making all things new. And some day soon this tent of the temporary will give way to a temple of eternity. Where time does not hold us captive and nothing will ever grow old.
